Ch. 20 - What is and What is not The Path

The Buddha’s Dhamma shows the Path Out of Suffering

The Path is the Path of Humility that Brings Us to Grace

[This discourse was given on an eight day Vipassanā retreat and discusses how the path is not for the purposes of creating a new idea of ourselves, it is for the total surmounting and freedom from all ideas of self.]

The Buddha’s Dhamma shows the Path Out of Suffering

I think the most significant thing to reflect upon, in regards to our journey as a whole, is like this:

Here on this retreat, you will have come to see hopefully, or at least you have heard it being suggested quite emphatically, that this path is the path out of suffering. And that the resolution to it and the peace that that brings, comes at the point at which you lose sight of self.

Now, in spite of that, it remains the case that almost everybody, for the first and even quite a few years of their spiritual career, will cling to the idea that whilst practising they are trying to turn themselves into something. And with it comes quite a highly elaborate idea of what that might be. And with it, an evolving idea of what we might think we are becoming.

And that’s what we call the adolescent aspect on the path. It is still tender, and it still turns towards our adolescence, with our adolescent type mind, that fixes on the idea of self, on what we have become. So, we learn meditation and hear Dhamma, but the path is not unfolding yet as the path should.

Now we can all relate back to our time on the path when this was really clearly the case. The point of the rite of passage into adulthood, or the start of the rite of passage into adulthood, is the point that we clearly see that that investment is wrong, that that investment itself is the pinnacle of our ego fixation. So, now we see that this extraordinary thing that we’ve been practising, this spiritual path, is not the thing we have been thinking it is. “I’ve been practising this spiritual path seeking one thing, namely a new ‘me’ when that’s not what it will bring me.” And at that point we either go off and look for another teacher, or give up, or start that rite of passage out of adolescence.

And all the adolescent complexes that are undermining this idea of self, will start to shake. And everything that could happen at that point will happen, including you getting angry at the Dhamma, thinking you know better than the Buddha, not trusting your teacher any more, thinking there must be another teacher who gets it, because this one doesn’t get me. And all this kind of thing will go on, at that stage when we struggle between understanding what is the path and what is not the path, that point at which we think the path is one thing, when it’s not.

The point at which you hear Dhamma like this, is the point at which it points absolutely at what the path is, and of course we have to make a choice. Sometimes we may even think, “If that’s what the path is, then that which I am seeking I won’t find here.” Or, we might realise, “I have to change at a deeper level than I thought I would have to”, or even, “This is not what I thought I was seeking”.

Now, that’s an axiomatic moment. Whenever that happens on your spiritual path, is the point at which the true path will start to show itself to you. Prior to that point, the true path has not revealed itself to you. You may have met great teachers, you have been inspired by the teachings, you may have been motivated to put forth effort. But none of it was showing you what was sitting in the background, because all the time you were just looking at what it is you might become, this new idea of ‘me’.

Now there can be many lifetimes spent, pursuing a path such as that, and there is no telling at what point each individual comes to the point of realising what is the path and what is not the path. And it isn’t for me to sit here, and suggest to you at any personal level about these things. It’s merely something in each of our own souls, we come to in time. And this is a very important moment, and timing is key. Because either we will reject the teaching that threatens to dismantle the ego and go off in search of some kind of personal resolution, or we persevere with this Dhamma that doesn’t give refuge to this idea of myself, even while it causes us to shake. And we continue to persevere when we haven’t yet found the solace, the resolution, the peace, the completion that comes with being free of self, even though it brings up some kind of fear in us, and perhaps even anger. It is a question of whether we choose to work through that, or pull back. And this is why it takes beings lifetime after lifetime, to complete the path, because they hold on to the idea of what it is they think they are, what it is they think they are going to become by walking it, until some part of them sees, with the light of insight, what the path truly is pointing at, and then chooses, whether or not to go there.

This one thing determines whether we make swift and painless progress, or slow and painful progress. It all hinges on our willingness to let go our pride, our ego. You can come and listen to the most erudite teacher on the planet, or read every scripture that there is, but until you get this point, it doesn’t matter who you sit in front of, you will always bang your head against the same wall, until some arrow from the Dhamma, cuts through and hits the heart, and you go, “Right, I see what this is about now”.

What it is, which stanza it may be, which line from your teacher, what experience in your meditation, prompts that realisation we can’t say. But this is the point that we wait for, or the teacher is waiting for, and when he sees that in the student, he knows that they are ready to receive that arrow that goes straight to the target. And at that point he goes straight to the target, and there will be no more gnashing of teeth upon the path. That is the time to cut straight to the point. The time for tap dancing around the Dhamma is over.

So, let this be your last reflection. You may have put great effort into your practice. There may have been no pain, there may have been great pain. There may have been no friction, no conflict, there may have been tremendous friction and tremendous conflict and it will have been on account of this.

The Path is the Path of Humility that Brings Us to Grace

The path is the path of humility that brings us to grace, that allows us to let go our idea and need to be special as we surrender to a higher longing to be connected. We may pay lip service to the idea of unity and connectedness, but if we haven’t seen that self is the only thing that separates us and that no-self connects us, then we are only playing with ideas. And it’s not about anything other than that.

At what point we come to that, is very personal. But don’t not see the wood for the trees. Understand what it is. It is that and that alone. It is nothing else beyond that. So before you sit down and study Abhidhamma, before you decide to spend the rest of your life practising meditation, understand this. At least now you know. Alright?

This is the beginning, the middle and the end. And when you have lost sight of this sense of self, you will be free. But how much you have not lost sight of it, that much you are still entangled. I can’t make it simpler than that. So in your pride, when you compare yourself to others, and you think this person meditates well and I don’t, or this person doesn’t meditate as well as I do, or this path is the right path, other paths are not correct, and all of this kind of nonsense, all of it is just pride and none of that has anything to do with anything but suffering. It certainly has nothing to do with freedom, awakening or enlightenment or whatever you want to call it. How much you are awake is how much you have let go of your idea of yourself. That is how much peace you have found so far. And that peace will surpass all the jhānic bliss you could ever come to. Trust me.

So for those who want it to be simple, it’s that simple. You can make it incredibly complicated if you wish.